Trust Yourself.
December can be a really big month.It can bring up a lot of feelings and emotions as we edge towards the end of this wild and chaotic year. It’s as if the Universe isn’t quite done with this year yet, so the opportunities for growth and self reflection abound. At the best of times the festive season brings with it a lot of energy and commotion. As a collective we surge in energy as we all focus intentions and thoughts around the final week of the year. For many this is a time of celebration and joy, and yet for others it can be a time of great sadness and pain. What it seems to do, without fail, is to give you a window into the world of your inner child, so that you can see your life through their eyes. As you gather in groups, often with family, you may find old patterns and dynamics repeating themselves. With this can come a whole range of energy and comments,“Isn’t it time you two had a baby?”“Why are you still single, are you making an effort? You’ve certainly put on a few pounds. Maybe you should exercise more?”“Let your sister do it, she was always better than you at that.”“You’re all skin and bones. You need to eat something.”“Just leave it, Mum will do that. Let’s go relax.”{Insert the familiar unhelpful/loaded comment here.}The thing is, these comments are often the result of energetic dynamics at play.Particularly when it comes to family, while most will have the best of intentions, our unconscious programming can cause people to act out in ways that aren’t helpful or kind. If you receive any of these comments (or indeed find yourself dishing them out instead) check in with yourself – “Do I believe what is being said is true? Is this something that only comes up for me when I am around these particular people?”This is your clue. If you have a relationship with a sibling, parent or in-law that doesn’t sail smoothly this time of year, it may well be because you are locked in an old energetic dynamic that needs to be reset. This is particularly common for people who don’t live close to their family, and only reconnect at significant times in the year. It’s as if you have holographic imprints of yourselves that you step back into when you get together. Old patterns, old habits, old ways of being. The ‘baby’ of the family, the martyr mother, the ‘single’ one, the black sheep, the ‘unsuccessful’ one, the wounded child…In order to release yourself from these dynamics you need to make a conscious effort, to acknowledge your part in the relationship dynamic and to make a different choice. At first this can cause further disruption as the people around you feel the energy shift. They likely won’t be aware of what’s happening on a conscious level, but they will certainly feel it as you renegotiate your participation in the dynamic. Above all else you need to trust yourself.To strengthen your inner resolve and self loving practices.Reminding yourself constantly that there is nothing wrong with you, and that these comments and actions are a result of people in your life trying to place you in a familiar and therefore comfortable box.You need not stay in that box for their comfort. Either verbally or non-verbally demonstrate your boundaries around the behaviours and words that are being said.“It makes me feel uncomfortable when you speak about me in that way. I’d like you to stop.”“Please don’t comment on my weight/relationship status/life choices and I will respect you by not commenting on yours.”“I love you, but I don’t enjoy these conversations about X. Can we please talk about something else?”It might feel tricky and awkward at first, but the rewards are immense.You get to show those you love who you really are, and in doing so you free yourself from any of their judgments and negativity.Have your own back this month and trust yourself to speak up and create healthy boundaries with those you love.xxCard deck: The Heart Codes by Erin Schliebs
